Love Is A Choice

The most powerful choice you will ever make in your life is the choice to love.

During the Dynamic Living seminar at Circle A, we devote one of the longest sessions to the topic of love. I have consistently and regularly received feedback that this portion of the seminar is incredibly impactful and paradigm shifting for the campers who attend.

In the world we live in, love is distorted to be something it is not. Our music sends the message that we “fall in love”, and our movies give us the idea that we just might meet someone who is our perfect “soul mate”. Unfortunately, these same media sources seem to indicate that it is about as easy to “fall out of love” as it is to “fall in love”. Although these emotions and experiences do occur, many buy into the idea that these feelings are the basis for a relationship of love. They believe that if these emotions cease to exist, then the love must have fizzled and died. If we believe this, we are often left searching for this lasting euphoria. We are left disillusioned when we discover the more difficult parts of all human relationships.

The thesis of the love seminar at Circle A is that we are all inherently lovable. We derive a worth and value that is not based on anything we do or become. It is based solely on the fact that we are beautiful, unique, individual creations of God. When we arrive at the conclusion that we are all inherently lovable, then for us to love anyone ... all we have to do is decide. There isn’t anything we have to do; there are no conditions or expectations to meet that make us lovable.

Before Susan and I were married, she would often ask me what I loved about her. I refused to give her an answer. I didn’t want to put a condition on my love for her. As an example, if I said that I loved her hair, and then something happened one day that made her lose her hair, she could begin to doubt my love for her. At first this was somewhat upsetting to Susan, but as we talked more and I explained why, she understood and deeply appreciated the fact that my love for her is a choice. We developed ways to complement each other without it creating conditional love.

This concept of love being a decision extends to far more relationships than marriage. Is there something your kids could do that would negate your love for them? How about your parents? Or your friends?

Today, let’s think about what our relationships would look like if our love were truly unconditional. Let’s think about what our world would look like if we treated people as though their worth was inherent in their existence and not based on living up to a set of criteria. Let’s think about the way we love ourselves too. What sort of criteria are we placing on our own worth?

Author: Skip Ross

Skip Ross was the owner, founder, and director of Circle A Ranch. He and his wife Susan dedicated their lives to making a difference in the development of teens through their ministry and spent the over 40 years giving their summers to the work of Circle A.

Skip authored the books Say Yes to Your Potential and Daily Disciplines, and created the Dynamic Living Seminar and the Thrive Study Series. He traveled the globe teaching the principles of attitude development and leadership to millions of people for over 50 years. He also recorded numerous audio and video teachings that have been distributed around the world with the help of Network 21 and podcasts.

He was a successful business executive, recording artist, and motivational speaker. He was founder and president of the OFIDA Project, on the Board of Directors of the Fred L. Hansen Corp., a Crown IBO with Amway, and a graduate of Westmont College and Fuller Theological Seminary. He worked with many different ministry organizations over the years but has most recently been working with the Equip Organization, founded by John Maxwell, to produce highly effective Christian leaders around the world.

Skip Ross went home to be with Jesus on June 13th, 2021, at the age of 82.

This excerpt is taken from Skip’s book, Daily Disciplines.