God's Discipline

I love the way Eugene Peterson interprets this passage from Hebrews.

My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects.

God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.

Hebrews 12:5-11 MSG

It’s an intriguing and important metaphor to see God as a disciplinarian, but a lot of people have trouble with that. A lot of people have trouble comparing God to their parents, especially in terms of discipline. It’s either because their parents genuinely inflicted trauma on them and they sustained long-term wounds because of it, or – more often – it’s because most people have a real challenge being honest and authentic with hurts from their past while also remaining loyal to their family. It's really hard for many people to acknowledge guilt or shame from their childhood without casting blame on their parents.

I've been a counselor for over 25 years, and I can tell you that almost every person that I've ever helped, even the ones who were in really difficult places as a result of how they grew up, had parents who did what they thought was best, even when they made some really bad choices in their parenting. Parents do what they think is right; they discipline and communicate in the best ways they know, because they are wired to do the best they can for their kids. Sometimes it does damage, and sometimes it does good.

But God is not doing just what He thinks is best for your life. He is truly and completely doing what is best. And as this passage suggests, we're in training to become something more than we could ever be on our own. God allows challenges to happen to us in order to bring us to maturity in relationship with Him, and in relationship with every important person in our lives.

Discipline, at least human discipline, can trigger embarrassment, guilt, or shame. After all, it usually means we’ve done something wrong, and we are experiencing the consequences of our actions. But what I hope to remind us, is that God never desires for us to land in embarrassment, guilt, or shame as a result of discipline. He desires for us to land safely and squarely in His grace, the place where we can learn and grow and thrive in our relationships with others and with Him.

The next verse in the Hebrews passage rounds out this message so beautifully. I like the way the NLT puts it:

So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs.

Hebrews 12:12 NLT

There is hope! There is hope for the exhaustion we feel. There is hope for the shame we carry. There is hope that our Father God, who loves us personally and individually, will see us through our story and into freedom and wholeness.

Author: Dr. Richard Shaw

Dr. Richard Shaw is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Mental Health Counselor. He is an ordained minister with the International Foursquare Church and he is an Associate Professor of Counseling at George Fox University. He has traveled extensively in the U.S. and overseas to teach and facilitate workshops for his groundbreaking work around shame and grace. Richard is originally from the great state of Nebraska and currently lives with his wife, Karen, in the pacific Northwest. He loves both college and pro football and he enjoys spending time on the Oregon Coast. He has two adult children in education and ministry.

This excerpt is taken from Dr. Shaw’s book, Shame No More.