Or, maybe it is … if we slow down enough to listen.
Not long ago I went on a retreat to the mountains, with the primary intention of listening to God. Each day of my retreat, I had a specific question planned to ask God. I figured that it couldn’t hurt to bring Him eight questions if I spread them over eight days. So, on the third day, I hit Him with a super simple one: “What path am I supposed to take for the next season?”
I knew I might not come back with the glowing light of clarity all over me … but I decided it couldn’t hurt to ask.
On the same day, I had also planned a visit to a local establishment called Gibbs Gardens. I’m not really the tourist type, and I couldn’t really explain the appeal of this place. I had seen a sign for it when our family traveled here once before, and it just called to me. All I knew was that it was a 300-acre garden, and I wanted to see it.
And so, I ventured forth.
I took my question with me in the back of my mind, planning to pray about it as I walked and then ponder it when I returned to the cabin.
As I approached the entrance of Gibbs Gardens, I was drawn in by the beauty. Flowers overflowed from planters all along the walkway. Trees lined the entrance in perfectly manicured rows, drawing my eye towards the lake ahead. I was incredibly excited for whatever was going to happen, for whatever divine appointment it was that had brought me here.
Before I entered, a man called to me, “Do you know where you’re going?”
“I have no idea!” I cheerfully replied.
“Ah, well let me show you!” He handed me a map that was quite impressive, a double layered brochure, folded out on both sides with multiple maps.
I almost laughed as I looked at it … the paths in the garden were nearly endless! They curved and split a hundred times over, winding in and around many gardens. It was a true labyrinth of trails, and it made me think about the question I was asking God about what path to take. The map felt a bit like my life – maze of connecting, conflicting, and concurring paths that led in circles.
The man pointed out that there was a “suggested route” marked by red arrows on the path. As I looked, I could see that the red arrows did indeed form a route that seemed mostly manageable.
“Awesome, thank you!” I said, ready to be off.
“Oh, one more thing!” he called after me. “If the map gets too confusing, you can follow the signs. Just stay with the big red arrows.”
I looked where he was pointing, and sure enough, there was a plastic sign with a big red arrow.
“Got it!” I said.
And so, I began. I started following the red arrow signs for a while, taking in all the beauty around me. The pond was covered in waterlilies, the beds were overflowing with flowers of multiple types, and the trees were each breathtaking. I felt like I was in paradise.
After a few minutes of walking, I hesitated. The red arrow sign wanted me to take a turn, but I could see something interesting on a different path ahead of me. I didn’t want to miss out! I decided to get out the map and see where some of the other trails led. I figured I could just loop back around to the red arrow path after I did some exploring.
And so, I did. I ended up in a forest of ferns, slightly lost and confused by the questionable map, but still enjoying the adventure. It was quite pretty in the fern forest, but not as remarkably so as the main gardens. I could understand why it hadn’t made the “suggested route”, but I was still glad I had taken the extra time to see it.
As I started thinking about paths, I heard a little something from the Lord. He reminded me that there are many paths that would bring me blessing and safety and provision, as long as I remain in His presence. There are many things I could do with my life that would bring joy and peace, and all would be pleasing to Him. The path is less important than the presence, He said. Stay with me, and beauty will surround you.
I love that. It felt like freedom. It felt like relief. It felt like truth.
I was grateful.
It was enough.
While I would have loved for Him to give me a concrete path for my life, I was thankful for the reminder that all journeys to the mysterious heart of God are beautiful.
I came across a few signs on the path that were clear boundaries:
“DANGER.”
“DO NOT ENTER.”
“DAFFODILS CLOSED.”
I was bummed about the daffodils, but it was September, after all.
I was reminded of my Dad always talking about staying within the boundaries where God’s love can reach and bless you. It felt like more confirmation. Some paths are dangerous. Some paths are destructive. Some paths are closed. Stay on the paths of beauty.
I felt like I had received my answer from God, and I decided to stop thinking about it and really focus on the hike.
Then I came to path marked “Hydrangeas and Azaleas”. It was NOT on the red arrow path. Again, I was curious.
I followed the path with the help of my map, but I was not surprised to find out that the hydrangeas and azaleas were not yet ready to bloom. They were SO CLOSE. There were HUNDREDS of them. All budding. None blooming. I could see why it was left off the recommended path. It wasn’t the right season just yet.
As I completed the loop and came back to the red arrow path, I made a decision. The map was getting irritating to hold, and nothing that had departed from the path of the red arrows had been particularly life-altering. I decided to stop thinking so much, put the map away, and just trust the red arrows after all. It seemed that they actually did lead me on the very best journey.
As I folded the map and put it in my pocket (okay, actually, it was a fanny pack, but I was hoping to avoid that detail), I heard a bird begin to sing in the tree above my head. It was surprisingly loud, and it caught my attention immediately.
I looked up, and I could hardly believe my eyes.
I was looking at a red bird.
Red birds have become significant to me, based mostly on my reading of Paula D’Arcy’s Gift of the Red Bird, and a subsequent experience of seeing one that led to me booking this VERY RETREAT.
I had hoped very much to see one on this trip, or perhaps to see many, but I had surrendered the need of it. The bird had done its job to get me here, and certainly, God has other ways of speaking. I don’t expect Him to only show up in a red bird.
And yet, here I was, looking at a red bird, after having just said, “I’m going to stop thinking so much, put the map away, and just trust the signs after all.”
I stood there, waiting and watching, listening to the red bird sing and holding on to the moment of presence with God.
The message was undeniable, and the bird just stayed there and sang to me as if to make sure I didn’t miss it.
I wanted a path to follow, so badly.
I wanted a clear map, the guidance to get from precisely where I am to precisely where God wants me to be.
And first He gave me the grace to remind me of my freedom – to remind me of my blessing in His presence, regardless of the path I take.
And then He gave me the gift of His direction – to release this need to have every detail mapped out for my whole life and just trust Him one step at a time.
I didn’t get my path from God that day. But I sure did get my answer.
And so, I will follow the red arrows and the red birds and whatever other signs the Good Lord sends my way.
I am not sure which trails on the spiraling maze of life He will lead me down.
But I am confident that the journey will be beautiful.
Author: Melody Farrell
Melody Farrell is the co-founder and acquisitions editor of Lost Poet Press. She also serves as co-pastor of Element Church Tampa and operations manager of Echo Media Group. She is associate director of Circle A Ranch, a program which teaches teenagers principles of leadership. She serves on the board of Grow Into You Foundation, a non-profit that provides coaching, mentoring, and housing for teens aging out of the foster care system. She is a wife, podcaster, musician, and mother of two from Sarasota, Florida.